Today, I gave myself. Everything I had, I gave it to the vending machine. And it return, it conspired with gravity, and bent me over a cold steel rail, and fucked me.

Vending machine. I gave you everything…. and you show me no love. I just want my happiness in a cold can. Like The Beatles sang about.

I will be writing a harshly worded letter to the Vending Machine Vendor. I DEMAND my tasty beverage. And also, I paid $1.40 for a slice of that delicious mould you have cultivating on the bottom shelf, yet the machine wouldn’t dispense. It seems to be attached to the spiral dispensing deal. Should I have brought my own prying stick from home?